When the extended family won’t help

Stories & photos by the Rev Dr Francois Sieberhagen, UBS Media Consultant Click wwhere for Togo factsheet

TOGO — During my visit to the Centre d’Observances Nouvelles, de Soutiens, d’Ecoute et d’Informations (CONSEI) I heard testimonies both from people who are HIV-positive and from those living with full-blown AIDS. Their stories, I found, challenged two preconceptions. In certain cases I found it hard to believe people were sick until I heard them say so. Second, they were not that young and therefore challenged my impression that it is only the young who are vulnerable. One after another, speaking through an interpreter, those present shared their thoughts about the challenges they face.

Seraphin...

Maman (left) age 32, with her baby daughter at the support centre for vulnerable people infected with HIV/AIDS. Photo: UBS/Francois Sieberhagen (TOG06DJ-30.JPG)

Seraphin, 39, a father and husband, was at the meeting with his wife: “The most difficult day in my life was the day I got my test results. When I got them I told myself that my life was over, I had no hope; it was the end. I gave up everything I was doing. Nothing made sense to me. I even stopped eating. I was very depressed.

“But one day I was listening to the radio and the message was that I needed to turn to God and share everything with him and then with my close family. Through the radio I learned about this association [CONSEI] and came here for help. They taught me that I can live again. Today I can say that this disease is not as life-threatening as it once was.”

Ayoko...

As Seraphin sat down, Ayoko, 30, started to speak: “I was very distressed when I got my results. We had been told by others that when you are diagnosed HIV-positive the only thing you can expect is your death and nothing more.

“But I heard about this association and when I came here people told me about a type of medicine that can help: antiretroviral drugs (ARVs). I asked them if they would help me regain my strength because I am a trader at the market and I need my strength to earn my living. And the ARVs have helped to give me more strength.

“At this association I am free. The people here are my family. When I go home at night I am lonely and stressed. I still struggle to involve my family. It is not easy for a single woman who is HIV-positive, but I am living a positive life,” she said with a smile.

Catharine...

Sitting next to Ayoko was Catharine, 37, who was eager to tell her own story: “I tested positive in 1996 after my child fell sick and couldn’t regain his health. My husband and our other two children tested positive as well.

“Initially we were not sick, only my child – who later died. We heard a story that we could buy herbs in Accra, Ghana, that would cure us. We went there and spent all our money, but the herbs did not help. I decided then to turn to God for help and mercy.

“I repented, started to attend church and read my Bible. I asked my husband to do the same but he refused. He did not convert; he resisted, even on his deathbed.

“At another association I attended, I met a person who helped me to cope and change my life even further. He sang a song of hope and life to me. I decided then that I didn’t want to die; I wanted to live and that is what I am doing.” There was passion in her voice as she ended her story.

Maman...

Maman, 32, could not wait to share her own experience: “I was diagnosed six months after I gave birth to my baby. We are both HIV-positive. I became very ill and lost a lot of weight. My child was also only a skeleton.

“When my family heard about my disease, they came to pack my things and send me back to my village to die. I would have been too much of a burden for them and therefore I needed to go back to my village.

“Then I turned to this association and they provided me with medicine and a mindset which tells me that I am on earth to live – not to die. I believe that God has a plan for me, and only he will decide when it is time for me to die, not my family. My child is also positive and I am sure we shall live,” she added with great conviction.

These people’s testimonies show how faith and dedication to God has helped them cope and live positive lives. Through the association, they are acting as Good Samaritans, supporting and taking care of each other.

Roche...

Roche, 38, summed this up very well when he said, “We need a centre to take care of those who are infected and destitute; children need to be taken care of because the extended family system is not always helpful. Children need our help urgently. We can only share so much because we ourselves don’t have a lot.”

I left the Centre with hope because with their positive attitudes these people will change mindsets and with the help of the Bible Society they may do it sooner rather than later. “I am proud of what Estelle Akouegnon has achieved with the Good Samaritan outreach package,” said a touched Wolanyo Amegah, Executive Secretary of the Bible Society. “We are making a difference, and for that I am grateful to God.” This story refers to project 87813. (WR 407/11 - 12.06) [4 photos]