A dancer’s dreams fulfilled

n Tanya Selegeyeva

KYZYL, Tuva Republic — When Tanya Selegeyeva, 33, was a little girl, she dreamt about becoming a dancer. God had no part in her dreams and she was not interested in anything to do with church or the Bible.

“My parents were not believers, so I never heard about God from them,” she says. “My grandmother was an Orthodox Christian, but I didn’t like to see or hear her pray. I just didn’t see any use in it.”

Focused

She focused totally on her dancing lessons and realised her dream of becoming a professional dancer.

“It was a dream come true when I was invited to become a member of the national Tuvin ethnic dance troupe,” she smiles. “During my 13 years with the troupe we were invited to perform all across the former Soviet Union and other countries.”

Ms Selegeyeva’s successful career was not mirrored by a happy home life, however. She had married a man who struggled with depression, causing many problems for her and their son. Also, when her mother died suddenly she felt confused and afraid.

“When I was a young girl I often cried because I was scared of what would happen when my mother died,” she admits. “It made me wonder what would happen to me when I die. Would that be the end?”

She decided to try and solve that haunting mystery. “I knew of this woman who claimed to be able to talk to the dead,” she says. “She was a spiritualist and claimed that when the moon was full she could make contact. So I went to see her but nothing happened.”

Suicide

More difficulties lay ahead for Ms Selegeyeva when her husband committed suicide.

“I felt like I wanted to kill myself but one of my friends was a Christian, and several times she invited me to visit her,” she recalls. “I didn’t want to listen to someone talk about God, so I wouldn’t go. Finally she and some of her friends came to my house. They told me, ‘OK, you don’t want to live? You can kill yourself right now. But if you do, you will not solve your problem – you will just make it much worse in eternity.’”

This scared the young dancer and she started attending different churches. She found a little Baptist church, where she felt loved and supported. She was baptised in 1994 and life for her and her son seemed destined for joy.

“But then I fell down in God’s eyes,” she laments. She moved in with her boyfriend who started using marijuana, and early this year, she had to suspend her dancing when physical problems developed in one of her legs. Previously, having to stop dancing, even temporarily, would have devastated her, but Ms Selegeyeva’s priorities have changed.

Meaningless